I've always loved reading fashion/lifestyle blogs; the outfits and decorations are great, of course, but the real attraction has always been one of a slightly voyeuristic nature. I love seeing other people's lives, what they do all day, where they go, the things they see. It's a desire that both feeds from and deepens my sense of envy; I've always wanted to live a "beautiful" life.
Trouble is, I've also always been a waiter. Not the kind with a menu pad (though I will admit that another secret desire I've harbored is to be a rollerskating drive-in waitress), but the kind who's willing to sit and wait for things to get "better." When I was in high school, I was waiting for college. College would be better. And hey, it was better! But by now, I'm waiting for college to end. Because after college comes apartments, jobs, new clothes. I'm convinced that will be better, and, hey, it probably will be. It's totally legitimate to be excited about things coming. But what my problem has always been is letting the things coming (maybe) eclipse what I could do now.
You (and by you, I mean me) can't just wait for something fabulous to fall into your lap. Maybe it will one day, and maybe not. You have to chase after the things that you want in your life and find the things you already have that are pretty damn fabulous. I've always had a fantasy of a beautiful life, great clothes and places that would need time and money that I don't have right now. I was reading one of my favorite retro style/life blogs, The Freelancer's Fashionblog, and in response to a question about whether she looks "vintage" all the time, she said that although her inspiration comes from older days, she doesn't aim to look "anything except than just good." That really stuck with me and made me smile when I read it. I don't have to have a great camera or the perfect dresses or figure out how to transform my life into a "beautiful" one. I don't have to aim for anything besides looking and feeling good.
If you (actually you this time) read all that (and good on ya!), you're probably wondering why I said this related to Fickle Kitsch. Well, I feel that, because of a perceived lack of awesomeness in my real life, I've kept the blog at arm's length. I've shared my opinions, but not much of my self. Everything somehow got slotted into "themes" or "series" without much space for organic writing/discovering/thinking. Don't worry, this isn't going to become a "what I ate for lunch" today type of blog. But I would like to share more of myself, be that through pictures of outfits I've seen and enjoyed in real life (I'll try to borrow Sparrow's camera if I do that), or just a bit more embracing of what I personally can contribute to you. Who knows, maybe somebody out there would be gleefully envious of my beautiful life.
Okay, I lied, if you made it this far, you deserve a picture:
I want to be that girl. Gorgeous dress, fierce shoes, staring down at the whole wide world.
